Date: 9  Jul 98 16:34 GMT
From: FRANK M ADAMS 
Subject: DG: The insidious splash...

     FILE #GR-2789-A98 
     
     This correspondence was recently unearthed in Annapolis during a 
     routine remote filescan. It's relevance to our AO is subtle but 
     unmistakeable...
     
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                                              USS GRIDLEY (DLG-21) 
     DLG-21/P L:wr
     9000
     Sor 520
     Jul 10 1964
     
     From: Commanding Officer, U.S.S. GRIDLEY (DLG-21) 
     To:   Chief, Bureau of Ships
     Subj: Urinals; height of
     
     1. In a recent exchange of correspondence between Commander, Puget 
     Sound Naval Shipyard and the Chief, Bureau of Ships, the Commander, 
     Puget Sound Naval Shipyard on the basis of complaints by U.S.S. 
     GRIDLEY (DLG-21) and U.S.S. REEVES (DLG-24), recommended that in 
     future construction the urinals be installed at a height of 26 inches 
     above the deck rather than the specified 23 inches. In response to the 
     recommendation, the Chief, Bureau of Ships stated that the evidence 
     cited did not justify a departure from the approved specifications on 
     the height of urinal installation. 
     
     2. Since the original recommendation was made partly on the basis of 
     complaints by GRIDLEY personnel and since there is an indication that 
     GRIDLEY's complaint was not adequately justified, GRIDLEY has caused a 
     more thorough inquiry into the facts.
      
     3. A survey of ship's company has revealed that the tallest man in the
     crew is 6'6" and the shortest is 5'4". In a dry run, these two men 
     have been posed at the urinals, at their present height of 23", and it 
     has been determined that the tallest man has 15 inches clearance and 
     the shortest 4 inches.  Although GRIDLEY completely concurs in the 
     desireablity of fully documenting its recommendations it is considered 
     that photographs may be, in this instance, omitted due to the delicacy 
     of the subject. At any rate, it may be seen from the above figures 
     that even the shortest man in the crew would still have one inch 
     clearance if the urinals were mounted 3 inches higher. Let there be no 
     thought that there is anything wrong with GRIDLEY's marksmanship. We 
     can hit them, but it must be realized that the longer the drop in 
     flow, the higher the head and consequently the greater the splash.
     Splash is the nemesis of sanitation.
      
     4. From GRIDLEY's measurements and from information gleaned from the 
     almanac that the average height of the American male is increasing, it 
     is clear to GRIDLEY that the urinals are too low and should be raised. 
     It appears that the fault lies in the change in the type urinal and 
     possibly the change in height of the average man since the 
     specifications were written and that there is no truth to the rumor 
     that the man in BUSHIPS in charge of writing specifications for urinal 
     heights is a midget and short coupled at that.
     
     5. A change in specifications for future ships is earnestly 
     recommended.
     
                                                         P.A. LILLY, Jr. 
     Copy to:
     PSNS, Brem. Wash.
     CO, USS REEVES (DLG-24)
     
     ************************** REPLY FOLLOWS **************************
     
     Ser  423-2346
     5 AUG 1964
     
     From: Chief, Bureau of Ships
     To:   Commanding Officer, USS Gridley (DLG-21) 
     Subj: Urinals; height of
     
     Ref:   (a)  USS GRIDLEY ltr Ser 520 dtd 10 July 1964
            (b)  NAVSHIPYD PUGET SOUND ltr Ser DLG-29/9360 dtd 1 April 1964
            (c)  BUSHIPS ltr 523-376 dtd 28 April 1964
            (d)  BUSHIPS ltr Ser 632A-377 dtd 2 June 1964 
     
     1. In response to reference (a), reference (b, (c) and (d) have dealt 
     with the subject at length and should clearly indicate to the 
     Commanding Officer, USS GRIDLEY, that the Chief, Bureau of Ships has 
     by no means taken a hands-off stand in this matter.
     
     2. In view of the delicate nature of the situation, considerable time 
     and effort, both in-house and out, was directed at the subject. From 
     this steady stream of information, the current Bureau Specification of 
     23" has been found to compare favorably with maritime, aviation and 
     other industrial standards.  Domestic engineering standards give the 
     installed height of urinal lip as 20" to 21". The Crane Company 
     catalog shows the height as 22".  Although a unique relationshipo 
     developed earlier by USS REEVES (DLG-24) between bowl size and 
     trajectory appears valid, there is no known cure for splash.  Habit, 
     experience and care will minimize but not eliminate this problem 
     regardless of a man's height relative to that of the urinal.
     
     3.  Based on the above, I feel that we are on firm if not dry ground 
     with our current specification. A review of the suitablity of the 
     smaller vitreous china urinal will be made prior to next standard 
     plans revision. In the interim, it is suggested that you utilize the 
     technique recommended by the Fire Chief from Wichita Falls -- if you 
     can't stand closer to the fire, reel out more hose.
     
     s/W. A. BROCKETT
     Copy to:
     USS REEVES
     PUGET SOUND NAVSHIPYD
     
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     This document's veracity has been proven to a LEVEL 6 VERISIMILITUDE.
     
     All references to the mysterious "Fire Chief" have been purged from 
     the Annapolis database, but AI ROxI is currently doing a sweep of all 
     available related resources. Operation WICHITA FALLS has been proposed 
     to A Cell in order to ascertain the extent of any possible compromise.
     
     Agent FRANK